A client recently shared with me that they felt like they were only sharing stories where they had gotten it wrong. They also realized that these stories are where they learned many of the lessons and teachings that they want to share in their book. They’re totally right that this is where we learn some of our most important lessons.
This client also has plenty of awesome wins to share, which demonstrate the effectiveness of the teachings. Books are all about balance. It’s important to share these wins. It gives you credibility as a thought leader in your space, and it also shows readers what’s possible.
But it’s also important to share stories from the other side of the coin. The experiences that didn’t quite work out according to plan. Yes, these are the stories where we learn a lot of lessons that we want to help others bypass, but it goes much deeper than that.
Here’s why.
Vulnerability Is Relatable
If you only share stories of how amazing you are, two things are going to happen.
The first is that people are going to be annoyed. If you only talk about everything you’ve accomplished, that will get old quickly. There’s an art to building authority, and it’s important to share these success stories the right way.
The second thing that will happen is that your readers won’t be able to relate to you. No one is perfect, so there’s no sense in putting up that charade. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable about the moments that didn’t go right or the moments that were scary, your reader is able to see themselves in you.
Even if they haven’t lived through the same exact experiences, they can usually tie your stories back to similar moments in their lives. Here’s the important part. They will be able to relate to the feeling as well. In these stories, we’re not just debriefing on what happened. We’re bringing the reader in. That’s how they will be able to see themselves in your book.
Inspires Your Readers
The majority of the authors that I work with want to inspire their readers in some way. What they want to inspire their readers to do, the lessons they want them to learn, and the feelings they want to evoke are all unique. But in each case, the desire to inspire is a common theme.
There’s even more power in your success stories when you show the struggle that led up to them. You didn’t just snap your fingers and make it happen. It took work and overcoming setbacks. This is how you inspire your readers.
If your readers are able to see themselves in your stories and see that you were successful despite challenges along the way, they’ll also gain a sense of belief and inspiration that they can do the same thing.
This is a great way to ensure that they’re likely to take action to make a positive impact in their lives or the lives of others at the end of your book.
Where the Lessons Live
This client is absolutely right. We typically do learn a good portion of our lessons from the times that things didn’t go right.
We also definitely learn from the times we were successful. We’re able to understand what worked and formulate frameworks, templates, and processes. Those are teachings we want to share in our books.
But we learn different lessons from the times things didn’t work out. By sharing these teachings, we’re able to help our readers avoid the same mistakes we had to learn through. We’re also able to help them overcome objections like, “I can’t do it because…”. If you’ve made it through challenges, it’s worth sharing how you did and what’s possible to overcome.
If you’ve been nervous to write a book because you know you’ll need to share the times that things didn’t go so well, just know that will make your book stronger, not weaker. If you’ve been itching to write a leadership or business book and are now ready to take the next step, book a free strategy call using the button below!
Disclaimer: This blog should not be construed as providing, or intending to provide professional financial, legal, psychological, or other professional advice. It is simply meant to share my experiences with those who may find them relatable and helpful.