Disclosure: I only recommend products/services I would use myself and feel might benefit you as well. This post contains affiliate links, and I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
“It is what it is.”
A popular phrase used as a reminder that we can’t control everything and to ease the anxiety that comes with uncertainty of a particular situation.
While this mentality of “it is what it is” is definitely beneficial in some circumstances because 1) God has a plan for all of us that we need to trust in, and 2) we will drive ourselves crazy trying to always control everything, there is a balance that needs to be struck with this mentality.
Overdone, there is the potential that “it is what it is” can allow us to fall into a pit of excuses to not make changes. Taking the current circumstance of life at face value when you’re not filled with joy and assuming that it can’t be changed is one example of this.
It is easy to get stuck in the mentality that your current circumstance is your plight for life, and I’m here to tell you that isn’t the case.
Career path, not sentence
A huge part of our daily lives is our career/vocation. There’s no getting around it. Our career/vocation hopefully acts as a source of fulfillment, purpose, and inspiration. However, for too many, it feels like a burden, necessary evil, or check-the-box exercise.
When this happens, we often look for ways to improve our situation, such as moving to a different manager, a different company, or a different variation of the field we’re in. However, sometimes these are not the root problems. Sometimes we actually just don’t enjoy the type of work we’re doing or the setting that we’re doing it in.
When you become stuck, it is difficult to imagine any other options. For one, by the time you start thinking about these things, you are likely miserable in your job situation so you likely feel like you are in a bit of a survival mode, only wanting to get through each day and find a band-aid to ease the pain. Furthermore, you likely feel after whatever education or training you’ve received that you are stuck in your career path, that it’s what you should be doing, and that it will be your plight for life.
I certainly felt this way at various times throughout my career, but thought that maybe it was just me because I felt like I always liked to be taking on something new and different. However, recently I’ve had this discussion with a couple of other friends as well, which got me thinking that maybe there is a significant population out there feeling the same way.
The truth is that there are endless possibilities for where your career or vocation can take you, and it’s likely to evolve over time. Career paths are just that: paths. Not life sentences.
Paths are meant to be winding, varied, and have a few intersections and forks in the road. So a career path is no different. You as a person and your preferences evolve over time. It’s okay to dream. It’s okay to speak out how you’d love your life to look. So many people are nervous to do even that because we feel we’re doing the job that we should be doing.
“Should” is not what we love…
A malleable mindset
Often our mindsets can feel the same way, which can turn into a vicious cycle. We can feel like we are a prisoner to various circumstances of our life, even those outside of work. And while we certainly cannot and should not control all aspects of our life, we can control our reaction and mindset to those circumstances.
Re-framing unproductive thoughts is one example of enhancing our mindset and improving our reaction to what is going on around us. When we continue to have negative, unproductive thoughts, those thoughts quite literally become wired into our brains and become more and more engrained. When we practice re-framing those thoughts in a more productive and positive way, we quite literally begin to change the structure and chemistry of our brain.
Furthermore, there is a vast arsenal of mental tactics that can be employed to improve the joy, excellence, and freedom that you feel throughout your day. My favorite resource on this is Dr. Amber Selking’s book Winning the Mental Game (links to hardcover and Kindle). In her book, she educates on how the brain works, provides tactical gameplans for how to utilize various mental strategies throughout your days, and leaves you with exercises that will help you to practice this enhanced awareness and mindset.
Practice, practice, practice
Speaking of practice, the importance of practice throughout our daily lives cannot be overstated. We often think of more hands-on activities like sports, cooking, or drawing when we think of practice. However, practice should be applied to all aspects of our lives.
To enhance our mindset and circumstances, it takes practice. Mindset is not something that changes overnight after we read about it in a book; it takes practice, reminders, and investment every day.
Likewise, the decision to expand the horizons of your career path, if it feels right to you, doesn’t happen overnight. It takes some responsible experimentation, determination, persistence, and tweaking to establish a new path that you love.
Practice can feel mundane, fruitless, and monotonous at the beginning. If (and likely when) you don’t see results right away, it becomes easy and tempting to give up and continue down the “I should do this” and the “oh well” and the “it is what it is” highway of life. But I urge and challenge you to carry on the path of practicing. The rewards are likely to be even better than expected and bring you joy, abundance, and wellness.
Finding ways to be accountable is a great way to stick with your practice. Make it a game from yourself. Enlist the help of a friend. Find a group or workshop that is pursuing a similar set of goals. Or, last but not least, find a coach.
If you are looking to transform your life circumstance, wanting to detach yourself from the “should’s” of life, let’s chat to see if I can support you on your journey to joy, purpose, and freedom in your own life!
Disclosure: I only recommend products/services I would use myself and feel might benefit you as well. This post contains affiliate links, and I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Disclaimer: This blog should not be construed as providing, or intending to provide, professional financial, legal, psychological, or other professional advice. It is simply meant to share my experiences for those that may find them relatable and helpful.