Disclosure: I only recommend products/services I would use myself and feel might benefit you as well. This post contains affiliate links, and I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Hold on… let me just get up on my soapbox for a minute. Okay… I’m ready now.
As I was scrolling through Instagram the other day, I saw a quote talking about the importance of delaying short-term satisfaction in order to work towards long-term success, at which point (in the long-term) this gratification could then be achieved. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen some variation of this quote, and to be honest, I used to be one of those people right along on that bandwagon.
But now sentiments of this nature just fire me up! In my mind, delaying gratification or satisfaction basically means delaying your full potential of joy. In my opinion, short-term joy and long-term success don’t need to be mutually exclusive, and here’s why…
Standards and goals don’t take away joy
It’s no newsflash to say that setting goals is important to achieving whatever your version of success is. As Ed Mylett discusses in his book The Power of One More (links to Hardcover and Kindle), setting standards for yourself is just as important to achieving those goals. Standards help you set your own framework and discipline for achieving those goals while helping you to keep your priorities straight.
When you hear the words “standard” and “discipline”, you may automatically think that this means delaying current gratification. Maybe it makes you think of missing certain social events to work towards your goals or maybe it means late nights to meet that deadline.
It doesn’t have to be like that though. My coach Rasa DiSalvo has helped train us to find ways to work towards our goals in ways that feel aligned and enjoyable to us. There’s no one single way to go about accomplishing a particular goal. You can approach it from many different angles depending on your preferences. There might be some trial and error involved in this, but if you get in the game and play, you’re likely to find a method that is enjoyable to you, allows you to keep your priorities balanced, and helps you achieve your goals.
At first, this sounded too good to be true, but I can attest through experience, coaching, some trial and error, and some flexibility that this is absolutely possible. When you find something that lights your soul on fire and you find a framework to execute within that you love, you can embrace the joy in the journey rather than the destination.
I believe so passionately in this that I aim to help clients achieve the same synergy of joy and success. Because if you can’t find the joy in the journey, you fall into a trap.
The age-old trap of “once I”
As you go about your next several days, start to pay attention to how many times either you or those around you start a sentence with “once I”. “Once I get that promotion, I’ll feel accomplished.” Or “Once I find my husband, I’ll be truly happy.” Or “Once I get in shape, I’ll feel better about myself.”
I’d be willing to bet that some variation of these sentences sound very familiar. These statements automatically imply that you need some sort of external factor to make you happy. This turns into a never-ending cycle of reaching that goal but then feeling like you now need to achieve the next goal if you aren’t also embracing short-term joy.
In our Mastermind sessions, we talked a lot about this “once I” concept. It’s something that seems to be naturally and subconsciously embedded in people’s thought processes. By having these “once I” beliefs, you look past all the potential opportunities for joy, freedom, memories, and passion that are in the here and now because you’ve already resorted to the fact that you need that external factor to make you happy.
These “once I” sentiments are very much aligned with the quotes preaching that delaying short-term satisfaction will be worth it for the long-term success. But at what point are you satisfied with the success? When does this phase of delaying short-term satisfaction stop? What opportunities and memories will have been missed along the way and will it be too late by the time you finally decide to find the joy in the journey? Which leads me to my next point…
Moments you’ll never get back
As the old saying goes, YOLO (you only live one). While this is dated slang that was popular when I was in high school, the sentiment is actually true. You do only get to live this life once.
I can’t claim to be a model example in this area. For years, I sacrificed sleep, exercise, and certain social or family events to work my way up the corporate ladder and keep achieving the goals I had for myself. As I mentioned in my “Going with the Ebbs and Flows” blog, it took the COVID-19 pandemic to start to wake me up to the lack of balance in priorities that I had.
Fast forward to today, and I’m proud to say that, to me, quality time with loved ones and making new memories will always be more important to me than monetary or recognition success.
As I sat holding one of my close friend’s newborns for his first day at the beach, I thought to myself that this is the exact reason that I’m paving my path less traveled to create a life I love, so I could embrace moments like these. There was no place I’d rather be at that moment. And that’s a moment that I’d never be able to get back again.
Life is filled with these moments big and small that you won’t be able to get back again when you really start to pay attention to it. And I think when you uncover this awareness is when you really start to find the joy in the journey. You become so much more grateful for these moments, you feel energized by the people and the memories, and you become more fueled with passion to keep creating the life that you love that allows you to experience those moments.
In rebuttal to the argument that you may have more joy or freedom in the long-term if you just sacrifice now in the short-term, what does the long-term really look like? Life is unpredictable. It is a messy on both an individual and macro level. Even if you haven’t experienced this on an individual level, I think we all learned a lesson from the COVID-19 pandemic when we realized how we had taken time with family, friends, and events for granted. While we were eventually able to regain these blessings, the period of time we had them stripped away was a wakeup call.
So as I wrap up on my soap box, I challenge you to find avenues to accomplish your goals in ways that feel aligned and joyful to you. I challenge you to ditch the “once I” mentality and look for all the joy and celebration currently in your life. I challenge you to embrace the moments big and small that you’ll never get back with the people that you love so dearly because life is short and unpredictable.
If you’re just as fired up about this as I am, I’d love to explore supporting you in your journey to pave your own path to unlocking joy and freedom in your life. Use the button below to book a free discovery session with me to start your transformational coaching journey.
Disclosure: I only recommend products/services I would use myself and feel might benefit you as well. This post contains affiliate links, and I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Disclaimer: This blog should not be construed as providing, or intending to provide, professional financial, legal, psychological, or other professional advice. It is simply meant to share my experiences for those that may find them relatable and helpful.