For those of you who know me, you know that I have no problem saying “no”.
I believe saying “no” to opportunities and people that aren’t aligned is a way to be kind to yourself by allowing you to direct your energy and attention to your priorities and that which lights you up.
Importantly, I also believe that saying “no” to people and situations that don’t feel aligned is kind to others in the long run. It prevents situations and relationships filled with guilt, resentment, or other messiness.
That being said, most of our lives are not filled with “Heck No” opportunities or people (at least that’s the goal).
And while there are also definite “Heck Yes” opportunities, frequently what we’re presented with are more gray areas. Of course, we lean towards “yes” or “no”, but it’s not always so obvious.
Recently, I’ve embraced saying yes to anything leaning towards the Yes end of the spectrum without allowing my mind to get in the way. And by doing this, I’ve gained immense clarity and trust.
(Saying “yes” may even lead you to a cool aviation museum on the East Coast!)
Yes Leading to New Opportunities
The most obvious way that I’ve gained clarity through saying “yes” is by embracing new opportunities. And by saying yes without allowing my mind to get in my way, I bring a whole different energy to the “yes”.
When saying “yes”, I remember that nothing (okay… most things) needs to be forever just because you say “yes”. If for some reason an opportunity that you thought would be great isn’t what you envisioned, there’s always a way to re-align yourself. You can time box the projects, refer the client to another professional, or just say “no”, if needed.
But without saying “yes” and putting yourself in motion, it becomes more difficult to embrace new opportunities that lead to gaining new skills, gaining clarity in what you like and don’t like, and meeting fascinating new people.
The “yes” may be a conduit for other opportunities on your journey.
Yes Leading to… Nothing
On the other hand, saying “yes” may still lead to nothing.
And now you’re thinking, “How can that be? I said yes!”
Even after we say “yes”, things can still fall through. Maybe you said yes to a potential client, but they realize they don’t want to prioritize the investment in your services at this time. Or maybe you say yes to a collaboration but the logistics prove to be difficult.
In each of the circumstances where my “yes” has not led to the opportunity panning out, the opportunities were ones where there was some element of risk-reward in my mind; however, I had wanted to see what happened if it worked out.
And when the opportunities fell through, I actually found myself grateful… grateful that myself and the other party were not put in an unnecessarily challenging situation. In those instances (well in all instances), I know God is watching out for me.
I’ve strengthened my trust that what is meant for me will stick and what isn’t will fall away, so long as I tune into my intuition rather than trying to control everything myself.
Yes Leading to More Research
Sometimes the initial “yes” leads you to do more research. In this context, saying “yes” doesn’t necessarily mean making a formal commitment to working with a client, for example. It could mean saying “yes” to a conversation or committing in your own mind to something.
By giving that “yes” energy, you create momentum for yourself to further explore the opportunity. And this exploration frequently leads to the clarity that you need.
That conversation you said “yes” to will likely lead you to feeling “heck yes” or “heck no” about the opportunity. The research that you did after you committed to an opportunity in your mind but before you made an external commitment may lead you to see other opportunities that are more aligned that you weren’t aware of in the first place.
As long as we don’t get stuck in analysis paralysis, doing more research can provide clarity on future opportunities.
If you’ve been contemplating saying “yes” to writing a book, do yourself a favor and say “yes” to having a conversation with me. Whether we work together on a project or not, one conversation can add immense clarity and ease your mental load.
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Disclaimer: This blog should not be construed as providing, or intending to provide professional financial, legal, psychological, or other professional advice. It is simply meant to share my experiences with those who may find them relatable and helpful.