Disclosure: I only recommend products/services I would use myself and feel might benefit you as well. This post contains affiliate links, and I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Emotionally wrecked, I sat on the deck wondering if I could write my next blog…
After we had to unexpectedly put the family Golden Retriever (Izzy) down several days prior to the time of this writing, my mental and emotional energy stores were depleted. It was a struggle to even muster the energy to respond to condolence messages. If I were to stay on my normal schedule for my blog, I would’ve had to have outlined this article on the day of her passing and write the article the next day.
As I sat on the deck the day after her passing, I wondered between tears if I could muster the energy to outline the next article. The answer was a definite no. I was texting with a dear friend from college at the time and told her this predicament and that I was just going to “try again later.” While not planned, this deeply resonated with her as well, and I started to wonder how many other people experience this need for grace to “try again later” in different ways.
Several days later, the “try again later” has finally turned into the ability to execute so that I can share the message with others that may need to hear this as well.
Reaching your mental and emotional limit
Reaching a mental and/or emotional limit can take different forms in different people in different circumstances. Everyone processes grief, disappointment, sadness, and emptiness in different ways, and sometimes this processing method even fluctuates within the same cycle of having reached this limit.
For me, reaching this mental and emotional limit meant really needing to muster the energy to respond to others, introverting to process in my brain rather than out loud, and lots of time just relaxing rather than doing. My mom, however, likes to be physically and mentally active in her processing and likes to talk through things to help her. Neither way is right or wrong, it’s just what works for each of us, and each person needs to process in a way that works for them.
The thing is, there’s no alarm that goes off when you deplete your energy stores below sufficient levels. This is something that again varies from person to person and circumstance to circumstance. Conversely, there’s no cute tone that goes off when you’ve restored your energy to more adequate levels.
That’s why it’s so important to embrace self-awareness and give yourself grace.
Internal battle between grace and achievement
In a world that seems to value achievement and toughness, it can be difficult to give yourself grace in these situations. You may feel like you are letting yourself or others down.
For me, I know that two of my more significant saboteurs are hyper-achievement and hyper-rationalism. As a hyper-achiever, taking the time to just slow down and work on healing myself instead of staying on schedule was really difficult. I knew I needed to take the time, but I also felt this guilt for everything that I was putting off. Furthermore, my hyper-rationalism was causing me to try to suppress the emotions, which actually felt more painful.
This internal battle is something that will rage when you don’t feel you can be your authentic self. At times where your energy stores are depleted, this internal battle is likely between what you feel like you should be accomplishing and what you know you need to do (or not do) to heal.
Feeding the vicious cycle
When this internal battle rages, it is likely that you’re just feeding into a vicious cycle. Feeling guilt and beating yourself up for not completing tasks or staying in your normal routine just causes you to be hard on yourself which further depletes your energy and deteriorates your mental health.
Furthermore, if you jump into activities before you feel energetically ready to do so or as you’re recovering from this energetic depletion, your work product or end result may not live up to it’s normal standards. Without giving yourself grace to either wait until you’re ready or grace to simply celebrate that you tried, this can result in further deterioration from self-criticism.
Amber Rae beautifully discusses the importance of feeling your emotions in her book Choose Wonder over Worry: Move Beyond Fear and Doubt to Unlock Your Full Potential (links to paperback and Kindle). As she explains, not taking the time to feel and process your emotions can lead to a bigger block in the future.
You can see how this becomes a vicious cycle.
Breaking the cycle with one phrase
This is where the power of the phrase “I’ll try again later” comes into play. By using this phrase, you acknowledge the knowing that you will eventually accomplish what you set out to accomplish, but you will attempt this after having taken care of yourself first.
You also celebrate yourself for having tried in the first place. Even if that attempt was simply thinking about the task that you needed to accomplish and assessing if it was something that would serve you at this time, you recognized the goals and standards you set for yourself but also had the self-awareness to know you needed to heal yourself first.
If that attempt was a physical attempt at taking care of that item on your to-do list, but it didn’t pan out like you intended, that’s okay! It was brave to get back on the horse and give it a shot, and you can always try again later.
This simple phrase of “I’ll try again later” accomplishes so much in affirming to yourself that you will get it done, while also giving your body and mind the space and grace that it needs to heal.
The key word is “try”
While it’s important to give yourself grace during those times when your mental and emotional energy stores are depleted, growth and confidence come from action. That’s why in addition to “later,” the other key word of this sentence is “try.”
By “trying” you provide yourself the opportunity to have that breakthrough moment, but by “trying,” you also give yourself grace to honor what serves your body and mind best at this time rather than forcing what you think you should do. Trying allows you to attempt, monitor, and either terminate the mission or continue following through. As such, it’s no surprise that I recommend The Power of One More by Ed Mylett (links to Hardcover and Kindle) to inspire you to keep trying one more time until you have that breakthrough.
Next time you’re feeling that your mental and emotional capacity has been depleted below it’s functional level, give yourself the grace to say “I’ll try again later,” and take the time to heal yourself and restore your energy. Ultimately, that will be what leads you to your most efficient recovery anyways, rather than entering into the vicious cycle. But don’t forget that as part of this agreement with yourself, you must honor your commitment to in fact continue trying later.
Reach out to me via my Contact Me button below to book your free discovery session to see if I can support you along your journey to unlock the full potential of joy, freedom, and strength within your life.
Disclosure: I only recommend products/services I would use myself and feel might benefit you as well. This post contains affiliate links, and I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Disclaimer: This blog should not be construed as providing, or intending to provide, professional financial, legal, psychological, or other professional advice. It is simply meant to share my experiences for those that may find them relatable and helpful.