Disclosure: I only recommend products/services I would use myself and feel might benefit you as well. This post contains affiliate links, and I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
As I danced and jumped around filled with joy surrounded by mirrors and strangers, I wondered why I had never felt this way when taking Zumba classes before. As I mulled this thought over, it occurred to me that in previous Zumba ventures, I had been focused on outside factors rather than just myself. Now I was only focused on my own joy and growth.
And there it was. A powerful metaphor for life and the journey of paving your own path.
Living in a fishbowl
In the very first set of Zumba classes I took as a sophomore in high school, I felt significant pressure and judgment. Our high school basketball coach had signed our team up for a few Zumba classes so that we would learn to play looser and smoother rather than stiff and worried about making mistakes. Conceptually, it was a really great, well-intentioned idea to not only improve our skills but act as team building.
However, knowing that I was there to improve upon an area of weakness as a highly competitive athlete coupled with the fact that I was a high school aged girl, made the experience less than desirable. The whole time that I danced, I worried about what the parents and coaches thought of me, what my teammates thought of me, and how my dancing compared to that of my teammates.
This resulted in my dancing being exactly what we were there to remedy in our style of play: stiff and ineffective.
Looking back now, I realize that is actually how I lived much of those couple years of my life in general. I didn’t let my full light shine for fear of judgment and was always worried about what others thought of me. These time periods of not letting my full light shine ebbed and flowed throughout my lifetime depending on what sort of conditional validation I was getting; I realize now, however, that each time I was focused on what others thought of me or how I was performing relative to others, I was actually becoming less effective at whatever craft was relevant at the time and making myself more miserable in the process which just turned into a vicious cycle.
This vicious cycle even reared its ugly head as an adult on occasion during my years in corporate as I wondered if my superiors thought I was good enough for a promotion, major project, etc. or if I was viewed as a high performer on the team.
Getting in the game just for fun
As I came into my own a bit more, I tried a few more Zumba classes when I was in college and even one at one of my corporate jobs. I enjoyed each of these more than the last. Not having the pressure of feeling I had to prove myself and my abilities to my coaches and teammates lifted an immense weight off of this exercise.
However, I still worried whether I was dancing as well as my friends and what the other people or co-workers in the room thought of my dancing abilities. As a result, I didn’t play full out or let my authentic self shine, which resulted in a moderate workout and some fun, but nothing to keep me coming back for more.
Just as we’ve all experienced times where we’ve been hyper-focused on what others are thinking of us, we’ve all also probably experienced times in our life like this where the approval of others isn’t all consuming but it’s not totally muted either.
This results in some joy in the right circumstances with the right people but is still a bit too dependent on external factors. When this happens, we’re able to achieve some pretty decent results and have enough enjoyment along the way.
But there’s the potential for oh so much more…
The pure joy of paving your own path
Recently, a friend of mine invited me as a guest to the Zumba class at her gym. Wanting to spend time with her (and, let’s be honest, do brunch afterwards), I decided to join the class with her. As it turns out, I absolutely loved it! I felt so much joy, got a tough cardio workout in, and danced better than any class I’d ever taken before.
I decided to join the gym and add Zumba classes in as part of my regular workout routine. To my surprise, there was no diminishment of joy over time, and I’ve felt just as much joy, strength, and freedom each time I’ve participated in the classes.
The key though is not just to participate; it’s to play full out by letting your amazing light shine and focusing on yourself and your own development rather than what everyone else might think.
As I’ve journeyed the past year on the intentional effort to pave my own path, I’ve found the same progression as my Zumba progression to hold true.
When I worried about what others might think or what I “should” be doing, I would feel that same familiar feeling of anxiety in my chest that I’ve had previously when I know I’m not in a healthy situation for myself. When I felt a pull to journey down the path that was best for me but still felt I needed to justify and prove that path to others, I felt a bit more freedom but definitely hadn’t reached my full potential of joy.
But when I became comfortable and confident in the path that I was paving for myself without worrying if others thought that what I was doing was impressive, I unlocked a whole new level of joy, strength, and freedom. The thought of taking the path of someone else hasn’t even crossed my mind since, and it seems like I live in a state of flow and abundance a majority of the time.
So next time you get that feeling of anxiety, worry, and the elephant sitting on your chest, ask yourself if you are doing what you’re doing because it brings you a sense of joy and freedom or if you’re playing the game you feel you should be playing to gain the approval of others.
In her book Choose Wonder over Worry: Move Beyond Fear and Doubt to Unlock Your Full Potential (links to paperback and Kindle), Amber Rae provides strategies and exercises to help you step into this unapologetic version of yourself and strike that perfect balance of worry and wonder.
Reach out to me via my Contact Me button below to book your free discovery session to see if I can support you along your journey to unlock the full potential of joy, freedom, and strength within your life.
Disclosure: I only recommend products/services I would use myself and feel might benefit you as well. This post contains affiliate links, and I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Disclaimer: This blog should not be construed as providing, or intending to provide, professional financial, legal, psychological, or other professional advice. It is simply meant to share my experiences for those that may find them relatable and helpful.